Has anyone ever told you that it looks like you have “bit off more than you can chew”?
Over 2 years ago, I became a foster parent, and thank God, the girls who were my first placement surprised me by becoming my daughters. And now I’m a single mom. I imagine that several people observed my situation and thought that I had bitten off more than I could chew.
But do you know what I’ve decided? I’m blaming my decision-making process on my parents because they’ve been biting off more than they can chew for as long as I can remember. My dad has always been a risk-taker, and my mom has always joined him 100%. In 2016, my dad left the church where he had been pastoring for over 30 years to start what will likely become the nation’s largest aftercare facility for victims of human trafficking (hopecenterindy.org).
He and my mom could have finished out their years serving at the church and retiring comfortably. But instead, at 60 years old, Dad took on the challenge of starting something completely new, exerting his energy to cast the vision and be the executive director of Hope Center Indy. He and his team secured a 25-acre campus to be the location of the Hope Center, and over 5,000 people have toured the facility to support this ministry. The Hope Center received its first residents in August 2017.
When my girls and I were at the Hope Center’s open house on June 25, 2017, I looked around and saw that over one thousand people had come that day to tour the facility. My dad was speaking to everyone, and I told Gabby and Anna, “Sometimes I can’t believe that my dad is the one behind all this.”
But then again, I can believe it—because he’s one of only a few people I know who has the faith and the guts to launch a huge endeavor like this.
The question isn’t… “Is this more than he can handle?”
The question is… “What does God want to do here?”
Seasons with Difficult Assignments
I believe that God gives us seasons of rest and seasons of renewal. But I believe that God also gives us seasons with difficult assignments that will always be more than we can carry.
It’s almost Good Friday, and I think about Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane, so overwhelmed that he was sweating blood. He knew the task in front of him, and he begged God, “Father, if you are willing, take this cup [of suffering] from me; yet not my will, but yours be done” (Luke 22:42).
Then in 1 John 3:16, we read, “This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters.”
Based on Jesus’ example, I’m thinking…since when are God’s assignments meant to fit within our comfort zone? Since when is sharing Jesus’ love with others not met with intense spiritual attack? Shouldn’t we be more concerned if we’re always content to bite off less than we can chew?
I’m not endorsing the idea of doing a million different things at once. If you know me well, then you know that I try to live very simply—I simplify my schedule, simplify my wardrobe, simplify my responsibilities (that’s why we don’t have a dog right now because I’m not ready to take that on as another responsibility lol). I almost always take naps on my days off, and I don’t feel guilty about it because NAPS ARE FREE!
But when God gives us one big challenge, then I believe we need to SAY YES. And the odds are that once we get into the thick of it, it’s going to look and feel like we have bitten off more than we can chew.
At one point last year, I asked God, Who do you think I am? Do you think I’m wonder woman or something? Do you really think I have the ability to navigate all of this? I’m barely hanging on!
During a conversation with my friend Molly last summer, I put my face in my hands and sighed, “Oh my gosh, I’ve done a million things wrong.” I felt so stupid and discouraged.
Molly looked at me for a moment, then said, “Yeah, but, Mary, I’m sure that you’ve also done a million things right.”
I still tear up when I think of her saying that.
Because that’s the truth.
This is what I would have said to myself about this time last year, and it’s what I want to say to you now:
If you’re in the middle of a difficult assignment, don’t beat yourself up for making mistakes. Ask God to defend you and to carry you. Ask Him to lead the way and to show His power.
If you’re in the middle of a difficult assignment, don’t feel guilty for not knowing the answers. Don’t feel stupid when you’ve tried everyone’s advice, and that advice doesn’t work. Just hang on and do your best to listen and follow the Holy Spirit’s guidance.
Don’t feel weak just because others look at you with doubt. Don’t blame yourself when others want to blame you. You were the one—maybe the only one!—who had the guts to say yes to this mission. Maybe you’ve done a million things wrong, but I bet you’ve also done a million things right. You’re doing the most important thing right: you’re not giving up; you’re persevering in love.
Don’t feel alone when you’re crying in your bed or crying in your car, when your head is pounding, pounding, pounding from your problems and your tears—because God sees you. He hasn’t forgotten you, He still has good plans, you’re still here, and you’re going to feel strong again soon. The chaos and pain are going to last for awhile, but keep trusting and Jesus will soon speak peace to calm your storm.
Peace is coming. It came for my situation, and I would have never believed that was possible. God is good.
Here’s to all of us who took on the big mission. “May God equip us with everything good for doing His will, and may He work in us what is pleasing to Him, through Jesus Christ, whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen.” (Hebrews 13:21)
P.S. Our school’s boys basketball team is playing in the state championship game this Saturday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Go Jackets!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
3/22/2018 08:56:50 am
Mary due to the loss of both my parents last year 2017 I became overwhelmed with grief and sorrow. I never thought I would be without my Mother who survived my biological father who passed in 1976. With there passing I became executor of our parents estate which included some rental properties personal dealings and lots of loose ends. I thought how am I going to get through this for my 5 sisters who counted on me to finalize there will. With the Lords direction we settle the estate last Thursday and cannot begin to count the blessings we received along this journey (season) of life. Its amazing what the Holy Spirit can do while in the valley and strengthens our understanding that "God is Love" 1st John 4:9 we live through him. I absolutely love what you are doing for these girls as I spoke earlier I lost my Dad in 1976, I was 14. For the grace of God and the rocks he put in my life during my adolescents as I look back he stood on his promises to me and never left my side. Peace to you and the girls. Blessings, Jeff Buis
3/22/2018 09:09:45 am
Jeff, I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine losing both parents. But I'm so thankful to hear of God's faithfulness to you as you took on the challenge of being the executor of their estate! God bless you and your family!!
3/22/2018 10:32:08 pm
Thank you for sharing what God has done in your life and what He has taught you. I was especially struck when you said, "The question isn’t… “Is this more than he can handle?” The question is… “What does God want to do here?”" So very true and words I needed to hear. Thanks!
3/23/2018 07:03:44 am
Love This...needed this...
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Mary is the Associate Director at Hope Center Indy.. She is the author of She Won't Shrink Back: A Story of Building & Believing.